Your 1979 Home Run Champ:

That's right motherfuckers, I did that shit, me, D'Brickashaw Ferguson. Yeah so what if 1979 was four years before I was born I wasn't even no sperms in my Daddy's nutsack yet. That don't mean shit. I hit 49 home runs that year, or one more than that stupid bitch Dave Kingman, strikin' out motherfucker. Yeah, I did that shit! Dave Kingman a ho, and if I see that motherfucker, I'll fuck his ass until he loves me, ho! This bitch know what I'm talkin 'bout:

Nah, I'm just playin, Nacho ain't my type, Spanish nigga and shit, what we talking about again? Oh yeah home runs. Man I was insultin' swat before Babe Ruth and shit that's how powerful my stroke is - do that make sense, hell naw it don't and I don't give a fuck is why! Did you know I'm supposed to be intelligent, man I graduate college in three and a half years or some shit, man that some bullshit. I tell you what, nigga, my degree was in religion. You think it take three and a half years to learn that Jesus done came back to life to lick bowling balls?

Hell naw, nigga. I knowed bowling balls taste good before that motherfucker did and that ain't no shit I just be tellin people about but they done put it in the passion cause Mel Gibson take a bat upside ya head if they didn't right Mel?

Yeah man, I know what you sayin, see, this the thing. People want ta tell ya that athletes is smart because they gone to college and the fans watch the games, and are all "he could marry my daughter," but that ain't gonna buy you no loaf of bread if ya hear what I'm spitting. Nah. Because people be lyin and shit anyway, son. Like some motherfucker put on my wikipedia page that I'm named after Father Ralph de Briccasart from some Australian book or some shit called The Thorn Birds.

Man that's reedickulus. I don't look like that white ass nigga. He Australian, son. I grew up on Long Island! Strong Island, that ain't no Australia I ever heard of, motherfucker!

Say what again motherfucker!

Now look at Dave Kingman's bitch ass:

Same motherfucker! Dave Kingman an Australian bitchass motherfucker! That shit's true, and people say I got a black belt in Shotokan Karate and a brown belt in Tae Kwon Do. Ain't that some shit. That's true, too. I karate a motherfucker's ass up and down the court, that's how I do son. Take that, Dave Kingman!

Man, fuck this shit, I made like $30 million dollars so far man, you know that's called not give a fuck about shit money. So, fuck a lockout, Paul Tagliabue or whatever your Roger Goodell ass is calling yourself these days. Yo, Bart Scott, tell these motherfuckers what I say to a lockout:

Fuck you Dave Kingman!