Five chili half-smokes and a fuck your mother!
Oh, ok, so you're not going to give me a fucking contract extension!? Well you can kiss my fucking ass because I fucking quit! Jesus Goddamned Christ on a talcum powder bottle! Are you really meaning to tell me that my 140 and 172 goddamned record doesn't constitute turning around this two shit cunt of a franchise!? Kiss my 58 year-old ass, I'm too goddamned motherfucking old to be goddamned motherfucking disrespected, motherfucker! You're lucky I don't put some fucking warpaint on my face and shove a baseball bat up your ass and pull the trigger until it goes "click."
Nobody fucks with the Jesus!
You telling me I got a healthy Strasburg and a goddamned piece of shit Jayson Werth that's not a goddamned piece of shit Jayson Werth and we're not fucking the Phillies up their phat phanatic asses? You telling me that if baseball goddess Bryce Harper isn't shitting home runs out of his all-powerful vagina we're not burning Atlanta like General Ulysses S. Sherman or some such? Then, you're a goddamned joke is what you are, Mike Rizzo, you stupid motherfucker. Jayson Werth would have better fucking luck impregnating his wife's grandmother's throat-cunt this year than hitting a goddamn home run and I'm dragging this shit sandwich team to a motherfucking stellar record of 38-37 and you haven't signed me for life!? Seriously, motherfucker?
Jayson Werth: Goddamned Piece of Shit.
Yo, fucko, I'm from Fort Dix New Motherfucking Jersey, where they throw you a goddamned tickertape parade for 38-37. They throw you a motherfucking Roman Triumph with a parade of lions buttfucking Egyptian aristocrats in cages for 38-37. We have a month-long wine-and-opium-fueled anything-goes blood orgy for 38-37. I told you motherfuckers, I'm from Fort Fucking Dix. We do NOT get motherfucking disremotherfuckingspected for 38-37 by Mike Rizzo REFUSING to even have a motherfucking conversation for 38-37. Come on!
Commence the motherfucking blood orgy!
You know what, fuck you, Mike Rizzo, fuck you DC, fuck you "Natinals!" You'll always be the Expos to me. Riggleman out!
Get that fucking camera out of my face!
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